Monday, October 26, 2015

Life Lessons From Bond Villains

Advice

Even if you're not planning on conquering the world, a lot can be learnt from those who are

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Until they get taken down in an explosive-filled set-piece, Bond villains tend to be pretty successful. You don’t get to own your own private island, build an evil lair inside a volcano, or employ a voodoo spirit without being pretty organised. Here are some lessons to be learned from everyone’s favourite megalomaniacs.

Follow your passions

Auric Goldfinger bloody loved gold. He was determined enough to turn that passion into a livelihood, becoming a massively successful gold smuggler. When you do what you love, it doesn’t even feel like work. 

Hey, pets are nice!

There are loads of health benefits to pet ownership, which Ernst Stavro Blofeld was presumably aware of when he got his cat – the man’s unwell, look at his gammy eye. Playing with pets helps increase serotonin and dopamine levels, making relaxation easier, which is perfect considering an elevated stress level is the last thing you need when taking over the world. 

Everyone needs a hobby

All work and no play would make Gustav Graves from Die Another Day a dull boy, so he takes the time to indulge in a bit of fencing. He’s evil, but just imagine how much worse he’d be without that as an outlet. 

Nobody can do everything

Elliot Carver from Tomorrow Never Dies knows there's nothing wrong with playing to your strengths and getting help where you need it – he runs a multinational media conglomerate, but when it comes to fisticuffs he gets his burly henchmen involved. 

Look after your damn teeth

You probably won’t need them to bite through metal cables like Jaws in Moonraker, but keeping your gnashers in good nick can help stave off heart disease.

Don’t be over-reliant on technology

Raoul Silva from Skyfall is a computer genius, an expert hacker who manages to infiltrate MI6 with an intricately planned scheme. He presumably has all the apps in the world on his phone ensuring everything goes to plan, but when the going gets tough, ultimately he relies on his wits, fists and feet.

Think outside the box

Max Zorin from A View to A Kill had concerns about rival companies in Silicon Valley muscling in on his turf. Most people would try to improve their business strategies, but not Max – he attempts to trigger a super-earthquake to destroy the whole area and kill millions. Don’t do that – it’s really mean – but there’s a lot to be said for seeking out unorthodox solutions to problems.

Accessorising well never hurt anyone

Without his hat, Oddjob from Goldfinger is just a kinda fat dude, but once he’s got his bowler he’s a badass assassin, the henchman of all henchmen. The right hat is crucial, though - a trilby, fedora or fez just wouldn’t send the right message. 'Dress for the job you want, even if that job is ‘murderous right-hand-man.'

Mike Rampton
26 Oct 2015

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